When we experience pain it's easy to try and forget about what's causing it. We think if we ignore it we will just forget it. Unfortunately, we don't realize that is causing more damage essentially.
It's okay to feel. It's okay to fall down and feel sorry for yourself for a little bit, you just can't stay there too long.
The key is to learn how to recognize the emotion you're feeling and tying it back to a specific situation that made you feel that emotion. Identifying the feeling and the cause will allow you to possibly prevent it from happening again and healing faster next time if it does happen again. When something hurts all we want is it to stop. We are programmed to need instant gratification but when trying to heal we have to change this way of thinking. Emotions are scary and can be overwhelming.
When you ignore an emotion and pain by silencing it the next time you feel it you can't recognize it so you may be depressed, anxious, mad, sad, or even happy but you can't recognize why/how. Feeling overwhelmed and acting out to those around us because we are bothered but can't express our emotions. Vulnerability with another person is already a hard concept to learn and accept. You're basically giving all of your power away and trusting that a person will take care of it instead of abusing it. Healthy and stable relationships come from either vulnerability or a strong friendship which ultimately is another form of vulnerability. Vulnerability literally means exposing yourself to possible harm .. But, when you choose to love you know there is always a chance someone will decide they don't love you.
Now, when you do address these feelings and if another person is involved you may try to address them and let them know how/why you're feeling... but please understand, and this is important! So, listen up! You can not control what someone else does with the information! You can not control how someone else reacts to you, you can not make someone understand, like, validate, or respect you. The good thing is, it doesn't matter! You decided to express something that bothers you and makes you uncomfortable or causes you pain.. What the person does with this information will show you exactly what you mean to them.. You are setting a boundary and when someone cares for you and has your best intentions in their heart they will act accordingly. They may not even do it maliciously, it doesn't make them a bad person they may just not have the emotional and mature capacity to handle someone raw and emotionally healing and that alone is an answer in itself.
So remember, never feel bad for feeling and expressing your emotions! Someone who wants the best for you and to see you evolve will want to understand how you're feeling and respect you moving forward!
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